level 21 Dungeon Master

I'm writing a fantasy novel. 

Its a fun experience to be sure. Creating an entire world where I am in control of the way that things happen. Helping the characters I want with magic that can be made up on the fly, Killing off the characters that I want.  Using made up scenarios to tech moral or educational lessons. 

There is nothing that I can't do, it is amazing. Yet, at the same time there is an over whelming sensation of burden on my shoulders. The lives that I create are stored in my head and play over and over like a loop of a scene at a retail electronics store. I can see their every move, every word, every breath. Not only can I see it, but I am responsible for it.

That is to say, if I don't tell you, the reader, that the monk,Sadon, is breathing, how would you know it? how would you know that he suffers from asthma, and has to overcome that obstetrical to fulfill his potential.It's to much to keep track of. Its like trying to go to a city council meeting, and writing down every little look. Understanding every single tiny ting in a each persons voice, and knowing everything that they're thinking.  There is certainly a lot of fun that goes into the development of these characters. The way the move, the way they speak. while being an extension of the way i do everything, they some how pull away from me and become their own person.

Now, don't get me wrong. At this point in my life, I am not a father, not even an uncle, so I don't presume to understand the complexities and real joys and struggles that come with fatherhood. That said, I believe that what this could be is exactly like being a father. but better... I understand the wants and needs of my children better than any parent ever has. I am basically saying that I am the greatest parent ever.

I finished the first volume of my book yesterday. the first 60,000 words or so. I don't know much about writing, since this is my first book. but that feels like a good amount for a first act. Especially with what I have planned for the second one. It will be at least twice as large .

The problem that I am running into at this point is the lack of direction. I start to think I wanna go one way, and  find later that I should reverse it. It's a little frustrating, but I think I will get my grips and get this thing done. 

Well, I came up with a concept for that video game. It seems to be pretty original, and I told it to a few buddies who are super excited about it. Gotta keep working on it. 

T.W. Clawson