Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Scraping for oil and God will Provide...

Wow, so I'm actually blogging from a cafe, sipping on coffee.
The internet got turned off in my house. something that goes along with barely working and not actually having a career, or money.  So I decided to walk down to the cafe down the street and enjoy a nice over price cup of coffee while being squished into a small table and seat, all so that i can listen to music while I write.
Isn't it funny what we will do to get what we want? I mean, I pack my bag and trekked a good twenty minutes, just so that i wouldn't have to listen to my heater ramble on while I wrote. Other are willing to compromise so much of the things that they are to get to a certain place in life.
And we strive to be such people as we see on in the media, don't we. Most of the people that I meet in life have goals and dreams and aspirations for their lives. and how many of those people actually achive success in their dreams. it has to be a very small percentage that actually figure out how to make their goals happen.
I think that I'm afraid of becoming a failure. in fact, I know that this is a fear of mine. I'm not talking about the whole, "Oh i hope that i make the right decisions and do well in life." or "I don;t want people to see me as a quitter." Honestly I couldn't care less if I made it in my life.
Whatever It looks like.
I don't care if people view me as a quitter or underachiever.
Not for my sake at least. I'm more concerned about the woman i love than myself. I want to be able to make her comfortable, and keep her happy. I could live in a shitty old apt for the rest of my life, as long as im surrounded by my family and the work i love to do.
Please don't mistake this as me saying i would prefer to live in a shitty old apartment, and like to wallow in my own filth.
I mean, yeah I'm pretty lazy when it comes to cleaning. and sometimes im worried that i am going an alien life form in my sink... But i will get to the dishes at some point... later.
What im saying is, that for me to be happy I don't need to have a house and a white picket fence. The only reason i think of those things is because i want to give those to my Love. The Girl who has been at my side for every right turn and wrong turn. I want to give her the life that she has dreamed of.
People have always asked me what my favorite car is. and that was always a hard question to answer, not that i didn't answer it well. I made people think that i real love for Honda Elements, but the fact is, I really don't care. Having a car is not a sign of doing well. I believe that very much when it comes to america.
And jag hole, who has yet to put themselves into debt  can get a nice car.
And we are told that putting yourself into debt is a great thing! what sort of crazy person came up with that?
You need to go put yourself into debt, so that you can look better, when you go put your self in more debt! Wha!? Then whats the point of putting your self in that bigger debt? so you can have a bigger house to try and fill with more things, that you buy with your credit card, which help you look better in debt!
Eventually you tire of how big you house is, and how much debt you have accumulated, and you sell off your debt and get smaller stuff.

I believe that we should be living with in our means. Not trying to catch up with our living.
Hell, I firmly believe that majority of people who have careers don't "NEED" most of the money that they make.
But this is beginning to be a rant...
or it is... whichever... im going to shut it down now.
All I wanted to say was, i miss having the internet at my house. and I love my Girlfriend.
T.W. Clawson.