Saturday, October 12, 2013

In this World of Darkness, I am only a Shadow.

Oddly enough I'm not a depressing person!
Despite what most people may think by my writing sometimes, I love life and want to enjoy it to its max. Though I might seem to be a pessimist on the outside , I really just have a creamy optimist center. 
I view life like my walk into Task this morning. It was 4 am and I was walking along a road in this sleepy town called the "Logging Road". It used to be the path taken by large trucks when hauling wood from the mountains down to the river. Because back then the river was the fastest mode of transportation for large things like trees. Then when the highways and byways were built, and things like trucks and trains and other such automobiles were made better, the road was used less and less. 
So eventually it was turned into a pedestrian route for the people of this small town. Its quite nice actually. About three and a half miles of pavement crossing the eastern part of a growing city. And I was walking on it at an ungodly hour. The sun was still several hours from even thinking about coming over the horizon, and the clouds blocked out any light from the stars or the moon. It was pitch black. The road I walked on has no lights on it, because it passes so close to houses in a residential area. So things like light, at 4 am, were only wishes and dreams. 
mmmmmm. dreams, how I would have loved to be dreaming at that point. but no, I had to be up, and hiking to my place of Tasks. so I could compete several meaning tasks, and gain more responsibility and new tasks. It probably wouldn't prevail to dream any how. Since I would commonly have a stress dream about the tasks that needed to be accomplished. 
So, I was walking along this black trail through the dark world, and lip syncing to some dubstep, and the only thing that my eyes were fix on was this tiny, TINY, thing of light. It was straight ahead of me, and it was unmoving. This meant that it was not mounted on a bike, walker or even a car. It was a solid piece of ion producing mass. This flooded my heart with great and over powering joy. 
some might find it odd that I was so happy about a light, but it was more than that to me. It was something to hold on to. This simple little light was the destination to my journey, it was proof that I was not simply walking through an endless space. Through the dark void that is the outer limits of our galaxy. 
Well that and you know...Oxygen, gravity,atmosphere, and the overwhelming sensation of not being in space. 
But this tiny tiny little thing that was a good mile and a half off, was my salvation. 
I want to find something in this world worth holding onto. I know that there is a light in my life, and I will follow it as long at it stays in front of me. So you see, I'm not as dark and dreary as you might think I am. though my situation might be. Instead i find that i am only cloak in my environment. its a phenomenon in natural selection known as adaptation. Its becoming a part of your surroundings or wasting away. Coming to know that which i am influenced by. But I am still me, I am still human and still a happy person. I want nothing more than to bring a smile to every face I see, and hopefully share in the joy that could bring to someone else.
No matter how back and bleak my world my be, I will continue pounding my feet against pavement. There will always be a reason for me to push forward and fight on.
as long at I have some dubstep to listen to along the way. 
T.W. Clawson

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