Wednesday, October 15, 2014

In response to a friend

Recently I was asked to help a younger friend in his debate with another friend of ours. Since I haven't put anything up in a while, I figured this would be something cool to throw up here. It also makes me feel like I'm answering fan mail or something. maybe one day i could do this on a regular basis. for now, I will simply post it from Facebook... Hope you guys like it. 

Hey Tyler, this is actually quite the random question but I've been struggling to find an answer, warning; it's comic related. So whenever I bring up Marvel comics, (Name Redacted) always claims that they are childish. His reasons are that it always has a happy ending and has poor character development also that no one ever dies because it's too happy. I try to come up with something to respond with but it usually gets shot down, and I know you lean towards marvel so I'm kinda hoping you can help me out. And like before, if your schedule is still busy you don't have to take time from your schedule for this because these are non serious requests I bring to you. But if you do so happen to get a chance, I would appreciate it very much! Thanks!

First of all, (Name redacted)  is very stubborn, you have to approach  an argument with him slowly, with logic and reason.  
To say that a comic company is more childish another is a ridiculous statement. These are comic books we're talking about, comics and cartoons, action figures and video games. While our culture is trying its hardest to make these nerdy things for grownups, they still find their origin in the imagination of young people everywhere. These characters were meant to be a role model for young boys and girls, they are meant to call to action the decisions of growing adults, and help people see a world that is beyond their fingertips. 

So to say that Marvel is more childish should be a complement. It means that Marvel is reaching out to the people they intend to. But let's look at that as well, Comics, cartoons, figures and videos games. If these are the things that are childish, and Marvel is childish, then marvel is excelling in comparison to DC. They have made better cartoons since the 90's.  The Videos games they put out have always been produced in better quality and have better reception than majority of DC's. Does this mean DC doesn't have a good effort every once in a while? Not at all. The Batman Arkham series has been one of my favorites, ever. My oldest and fondest memory of action figures was my batman beyond figure. The Animated Batman cartoon, and Batman Beyond were right there with Spider-man and X-men for Saturday cartoon agenda. Heck, my very first comic book was a batman book... DC has one anomaly that keeps them in competition with Marvel. Batman. And if you want to try and say that anything from Marvel is less childish than Batman, then you will have a hard time proving yourself. 
 But consider characters like Daredevil, or Moon Knight. Characters that spend their nights fighting injustice. Beating the (snot) out of bad guys and coming close to blurring the lines of punishment and murder... The PUNISHER!? The man who literally kills people for being bad... does that sound childish to you? What about Spiderman? He’s pretty cartoony right? Kids everywhere have him on underpants and shirts or sheets. But he has a massively traumatic story-line and fights characters that are not even close to childish. Does the story end happily for spidy when Gwen Stacy dies? Or Daredevil when Karen Page dies?  Does it end well when Thor is kicked out of Asgard? (kinda, but the point is he had to struggle to get back, it didn't just happen.) What about Tony Stark's Alcoholism? The Sentry who is the greatest super hero and the greatest villain at the same time?  Or what about the very recent murder of The Watcher?  
And if we are gonna talk about people dieing? Where does DC stand? Sure they have killed off; Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, The Flash, etc. (honestly I know there is more but I can't think of them off the top of my head.) Heck they have killed of their own Multiverse once or twice... and yet... they all (Every single one of them) come back. There is not a character or hero that they haven't killed, that hasn't been brought back to life for the sake of story. And even in the time that they let those characters lie in the ground, they make other characters fill those titles.  Example= Dick Grayson as Batman.  So if we are going to judge the comic as childish based on that, then DC is just as (if not more) childish. 
Here's my thing, I'm not looking to put DC down at all, in any way. I want to read more of them. I have only been able to afford an occasional Batman story. But if I ever get “well off” enough, then I will invest in DC. But at this point I read marvel because I enjoy their stories more. Plus they make it a little easier to jump into places. If being less childish mean you have to be more convoluted and ridiculous, then I really don’t care to read grown up stuff.  As well, I love the Marvel characters. One of the reasons I love those characters is because of how mature their stories end up being. There certainly are cases where Marvel is more childish or cartoony, or lighthearted than DC. Take the Marvel Cinematic universe. While they hit on mature situations and themes, the movies themselves are very fun and light. They have a ton of jokes and keep you entertained. While DC has made it a rule with their movies to no longer allow jokes on screen. So of course DC is going to seem more mature and grown up in comparison, but I don't think a lack of jokes makes you more grown up, Just stiffer, and to serious. The question I have for DC is, Why so serious?

I hope this helps you, and I hope that you guys keep debating. It’s the only way to really figure out what you believe, and what you like. Just remember, your friends are more important that the fake people drawn on a piece of paper.  Try to keep it fun, and try to realize that the person yelling loudest isn't always right... just more passionate.

T.W. Clawson

Monday, September 29, 2014

Thank you to all my fans!

I just finished writing my book.
Like, legit, I am writing it no more. I still have a tone of editing to do, but the entire book, the whole story has been written and i Couldn't be happier. Seriously, I am so stinkin excited.
I am so excited that I thought I would share with you, my design for the book cover. Its only an idea and I have almost no hope of actually getting this done for the cover because authors get almost no say in what it looks like. But doing these things help me focus on the story a little more. Plus its a lot of fun to do.
So here it is. The cover of "The Split-World: the Inheritance". Book one of three in the trilogy. fort trilogy of three. and only half of the career i want to have as a novelist.  I really hope you like this. and hope you have a great day.

T.W. Clawson

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Because a dream is a dream, until you make it happen

If you actually clicked the link and find yourself looking at these pics, understand that no one in the world has actually gotten my art tattooed to themselves.
I did this because sometimes, I like to use my Photoshop skills to help me see an end result. Like working on a book cover, then making putting it on a mock up and seeing what my book will someday look like. heck maybe I'll put some of those up some time.
But for now, take a look at what it would be like if we lived in a universe where people liked my work so much that they had it permanently stained onto their skin...

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

This thing in my head!

Being bored has made me a better story teller.
Seriously. My mom use to tell me all the time that being bored builds character. Which is by far the worst thing to tell a child. For one, when you are seven years old, you don’t understand what the term character means. Even now, as a full grown adult child, I struggle with the true meaning of that word. But even less so does a kid get it.
The other reason why it’s dumb to tell a kid that is because it’s normally not true. The idea that, sitting around allows you to become your true self, is a stupid thing.  I am just starting to realize that who I really am, and yes I know it’s gonna sound a little new agey for a little bit, but who I truly am on the inside, is not what the world sees. I am something more, something greater.
There are seriously, only like two or maybe three people that have even stared to see who I really am. It’s crazy. The thought that what God has intended for me as a person, is only known by so few. Yet, I dedicate myself to being someone who can share my life with the world.
But who I am, is not a retail guy, or a guy that lives in a Mobil home on some random person’s lot. Who I am is not a person who struggles with everything in life, relationships, friendships, money, cars. Who I really am is so much more. I’m a story teller. I’m a writer (not that my grammar is amazing. Or that I have actually been published or anything.) I am a thinker, a talker, a comedian, a debater.  I am all these things, these are who I am. I just need a chance to show the world, that I can take care of my family, that I can achieve greatness.
That I can tell stories.

See, being bored, sitting on my butt and waiting for something to happen is not what builds character. It’s doing, it achieving, it’s fighting. Being bored is the symptom of laziness and allowing your life to pass by you. I was told once by a good friend and mentor, that God doesn’t change the lives of those who do nothing. It’s easier to turn a semi-truck when is in motion, than it is when it’s stationary. God will give you a path and you are meant to walk it. Whether it’s the right path or not, walk it. Because God (or if you are less incline to believe that figure: Fate, The universe, your natural instincts…) will move you in the right direction.
The Idea that Boredom creates a better you is idiotic! It’s backwards! Complete and utter insanity!
That being said… and as I stated before… being bored has made me a better Storyteller.    
So, I have this thing, I’m fairly certain of it, though it’s never been tested or diagnosed, called ADD. Seriously, as I get to know myself, and as others point out certain characteristics, I find that my “condition” in life is much like that of someone who struggles with ADD.  My Dad, throughout my collage years, told me that he could see I was a dreamer, I was ambitious, and because of that, I lacked focus. My Mother would tell me that I needed to spend more time getting certain things done, and not be so anxious about things to come. Ect… ect… ect…

Anyway, I deal with this ADD likeness, and so my brain moves from one subject to the next very quickly. Not that I think faster than a normal person. In fact, it takes quite a bit longer than most to think things through, probably because it’s so hard for me to focus on just one subject. But because of this, I come up with so many different things in my head very quickly. I can see connections in the characters that I want to write about, that allow me to put patterns together.
So I have a goal in my writing, to write about 18 different novels. 18 or 20, depending on how I feel, but still, about that much. Each novel being its own story and telling about the characters I want to project. Then having each novel be a part of a trilogy of novels, telling a larger story for more than just one or two characters, and finally the six different trilogies all coming together to tell a grand and epic story of nature and man.
The thing is, the points that I started to put all these things together was when I was at my broadest.  When I am do a job that is complete in its monotony, or a task that is pointless. When I drive and my mind is pulled away from the road, or sitting with nothing to think about. This is when I ponder on the stories of my life, and how I can convey them in an entertaining and epic way.  

But being bored is not what will make me a better person. While I believe that I couldn't find the stories to tell without the down times, I don’t believe that I should stay in that place. I am a semi-truck, and I just got done fueling up, now I’m on my way down the road, I just hope it’s the right one…

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Not to Keep Pushing this...

I put more shirts up on my Etsy page, where you are free to buy as many as you like.
Seriously, as much as you like...
Do it...

Also, I wanna give Credit to my bro. 
I "borrowed" a pic he took to create banner for the page. See...

Thanks Bro. 

Friday, June 27, 2014

Monday, June 16, 2014

Me, Myself and I think this title has been over used...

There are two of me.
Not like, I have a twin and my whole life is just us switching places so that we can pull off an elaborate magic trick that will confound and puzzle the masses, and lead one guy to go crazy and end up committing mass murder... But rather, I feel like there are two sides of me, like a coin.
Its not even a sense of who I really am, but how I act. I'm a really odd person, really odd. Cause I am really shy. Not as shy as most people. A true introvert is someone you finds it stressful and draining to be around people. They tend to have one, maybe two friends that they keep really close. A lot of introvert people could be mistaken for Co-dependent. but there is a big difference.
Where a Co dependent person keeps someone close, feels extreme amounts of guilt when they push people away. An Introvert will keep friends close, but doesn't really care how they push people away as a mass. Not that introverts are emotionless robots, they just don't crave and feel the compulsive need to make everyone happy.

Now to the flip side an extrovert, who again can be seen as almost a co dependent person, due to their nature of trying to please everyone. They want to feel good about them selves, so they need attention, they need the respect of their peers. Its not always a bad thing either. Most peoples minds go to that really annoying guy or girl in high school that has to be the loudest , and be at every party. But that's not always the case. An extrovert just wants respect, they want to make something of their name. So people who are doing a lot of good in the world could be extroverts, because the are fueled by the need to be needed.
Where a Co-dependent person wants attention so they can feel needed, and extrovert wants to be around people because they already feel needed.

I wanna point out that this is not medical speak, this is assumption. This is how I see the world. I say this a lot. but the fact is, I don't know a lot, and I don't want people to think that am under the delusion that I am informed. I simply observe, and report... kinda like a mall cop.  I am the mall cop of philosophy.

Back to the point at hand. I feel like I might possibly be both of these personality types. Now, I know that a lot of people might feel that they have these tendencies at some point in their life, but thats not what i'm talking about. I'm not saying that I have exhibited certain characteristics at some point, I'm saying that who I am, what I do, what I think, these things are a confusing potpourri of attitude and personality.
There have been a lot of times that I have seen it lately, and I am still trying to figure it out, but a lot of the patterns I see in myself, point to a coexistence of ambivalence.

 So what am I talking about? Lets start with an odd contradiction that exists in my personality. The more nervous I am around people, the more I talk and make jokes. To most people, this is a sign of Extrovertism, the idea that I can get up in front of a group of people (being between 2 or 1,000) and speak and sound somewhat sensible. This is something that most Introverts would not be willing to do. And yes I would agree that my ability to give a speech is a branch of an outgoing personality. But what would it be if this happens when I'm talking to only one person, what does it mean when I can't turn it off, no matter how much I want to.
Most introverts will close up when they are in a situation that makes them nervous. They will stop talking, or speak quietly. These are self defense responses that help them coup with the other people. They don't want to sound stupid, or do the wrong thing, so they just don't talk. They freeze up. I would say that my reaction is in the same vain. I speak out, I control the situation with humor. I put up walls and keep feelings hidden behind a funny idea, or a passive joke. I no more enjoy the company of people around me, than a person who is shy, and in fact I can guarantee that most of the conversation, I'm trying to figure out how to end it as quickly as possible.
Not that I don't enjoy speaking with people. I do. There is just a sense of awkwardness that I seem to portray in communication that leads me to loathe the speaking part of any conversation. And because I hate this awkwardness, I have found that humor is the best way to fill the void. So I make funny jokes or I try to say something humorous.
This has actually lead to most people thinking I am quite outgoing and comical. I say this with all love and respect to those i love and respect. If you think I'm a funny person, its because I feel uncomfortable around you. The more and more a person gets to know me, and I feel i can open up to, the more serious and less funny I am. Just like an Introvert becomes less and less quiet around those people they like, I become less and less funny.

Another contradiction in my personality.  The more I tend to like someone, the more I push them away.
 Now I understand that this is something that a lot of people do, and people really struggle with this dilemma, but here is why I am different. Because I really do WANT to push them away.





What I'm not saying is that I don't want people around me, or to be around people. Cause just like every other extrovert, I need people. This is not a message telling people to leave me alone, I'm just pointing out how odd I am.
So tons of people push people away. and its a major theme in most TV shows. you have Dr. House who is a total jerk and pushes people around. Jeff Winger, who is to cool to associate with anybody. Dexter, a murderer who only looks for normality to keep people distracted. And many more. Thing is, through the shows we start to learn that these characters begin to really want people around, and the don't want to be alone.
I again, am different and contradicting. I w\push people away, I keep them at arms distance, so that they will want me around more. I want to be left alone, so that I am more desirable.
Where the people who portray solitude in shows, and in real life, think they want to be left alone then find out that they want people, I know that I want to be left alone, because I know how much I wish I could be needed.
I figure, The more people don't see me, the more they forget about all the stupid little things, and remember the good times. They then start to form a relationship with me that is based on said good times and they begin to miss me. The emotion of missing me begins to grow and grown until it hits a critical mass and they force me to join them at some even or get together. Soon they start to see me for who i really am, a socially awkward, big boned, nerd that they share almost nothing in common with and they are stuck with me. But here's the kicker.
People don't like to have their time wasted, especially by themselves. so they will actually trick them self into thinking that they like my little quarks, forcing them to overlook the tiny little flaws I have, and be a real friend to me. It's a super flaw theory, but it has kinda work a little so far in my life.

So here I am, a guy with extrovert personality, hiding a scared introvert inside of me. I love people, but am terrified of them. I can talk to giant crowds of people and be just fine, but the more personal it gets, the more draining it is on me. I want to be loved, I need attention, so I push people away and they to keep my distance. Hoping that they will beg me to join them.
I am a living contradiction of inward outward emotion. and I hate loving it that way.

Ps. here are a bunch of funny gifs of confused people...

Monday, June 9, 2014

Adventure time! (the comments and views expressed in the post do not reflect that of the creators of the cartoon network series "Adventure Time")

Welcome to my Adventure!
Not long ago I set out on a fun little project to create something i had stuck in my head. I don't know if any of you guys out there in the digital land have ever had that happen to you, where a project or an idea just nags at you and nags at you until you finally do it, but this was what happened to me.
So below is the process through which i made my coffee mug holder. as well as my reactions to each step and what was going on in my brain.

Step 1... get some wood...

As you can see I got mine... this is Freddy. Freddy the Wood is a 28 x 32 piece of wafer board that i picked up from the local builders supply store.   He was just sitting there in the scrap pile and i chose him to become something greater. Something that could never die, and idea. Freddy the Wood was about to be come a symbol! So i cut him down to the exact size i needed and let him hang at my place till i finished my work. I took an inch off of each side so as to give myself some stapling room. 

Step 2... Get some canvas...
Now i forgot to take a picture of it while it was completely untouched, but believe me... I did buy a piece of canvas and it was blank, and it was exactly one yard long. Imagine if you will that you bought a large preframed canvas piece for painting on, then you ripped the canvas off the frame and had a simple cloth in your hands... that's exactly what you would have seen in this picture. 

Step 3: Print 
It took me a long time to get this printed out, because i wanted to try and get it as perfect as possible. Unfortunately i'm terrible at being perfect, so i screwed it up... massively.  as follows is what i did in the printing, and my face... reacting to such triumphs and failures

I had to fold the canvas into four parts to get it to fit in the printer. this is really my biggest hurtle. Here you can see that I got the first corner printed and ready to be matched up for the next part. what you don't see is the back side of the canvas, where i printed the corner upside and had to start over completely.   

As you can see, I am both excited and mildly annoyed at the set back. But persistent at getting this thing done. and done right.  That's what this face is... if you didn't catch that. 

So Now I get the second panel set up and ready to print. 
As you can see by my face... I'm quite nervous

Success! I was somehow able to match the two sides up perfectly. We now have our bottom half, and a swelling of pride and happiness. 
Which is exactly what you will see here. 
There was so much joy in my soul., that my face could hardly contain the overflow. Not that i wonder if you can tell, I'm obviously jubilant in this picture. 

When I prepared to do the first top section, i took over 15 minutes mesureing and aligning. Making sure everything was perfect. So when i pushed that massivce green button to tell the mechine to print, i was fairly confadent that it would turn out great!
Failure! The stright edge that you see below is the product of pride and decite! The gods had seen my sucess and were jelouse. I was dneyed my beauty and my birth right! for ever being taunted by a 1/4 of and inch!

As you can see It lead to the next section to come up off the line and create a line in the graphic that will always remind me of the time i was limited to mere mortality. I was flying in the skies with my beautiful wings, and sun just had to burn them to a crisp, sending me crashing back to the ground that is reality.  

I'm sure you can see here that I'm a boiling over in rage, unable to control myself. do you see a bit of green forming in my skin color, i wouldn't be surprised... I was basically becoming the hulk. 
My insides were eating them selves, a lava like substance was starting to turn in my stomach, the world was spinning and i could feel its toppling. which i'm sure you could see in this picture of me. 

This was the final product of the printing process. and before you go patronizing me with flattery, just know that while it will be much appreciated, will slowly kill me, and never allow me to rise to my full potential. 

Step 4: Puts some close on Freddy!

Here you can see that a beautiful and intelligent young man is trying to figure out just how to hold a piece of canvas and not staple his hand to good ol' Freddy the Wood. 

and after all the work I finally have a Piece of wood with a cloth draped over it. BUT A COOL DRAPE! 


I then went through and screwed in some hook and framed the picture with a few of my coffee mugs.
This was the end result and i really couldn't be happier with it.  

Which I'm sure you can tell.