Monday, June 13, 2016

A recent Craigslist post.

I am currently trying to sell my She-Devil of car. It has recently shown me it's true face as a foul and loathsome demon that has crawled out of the bowls of hell, and not a nice commuter car as I originally thought. With a bad battery, busted radiator, oil leak and windows that have come off their rails, this soul sucking wretch has taken far to much of my money to keep around. 

 At this point I would see it only as a car for parts, though that could be the bias part of me that wants a million piranha to suddenly grow legs come onto land and rip this car to pieces while I enjoy a refreshing White Russian. If someone wants to show it a little TLC, it could be an OK car again, though I feel as though it might revert back it its state of being a gut wrenching harpy at any moment.


It's sitting here in my parking lot with that faceless grin of content and everyday it kills me a little more, so if you have any inclination to buy this monolithic mechanical monstrosity, message me and make me an offer. And if you're buying it for the forth of July, that you might blow it up and send it back to the hell fire that it came from, then I will happily consider a lower price.

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