Monday, April 28, 2014

Maybe you'll read this, and we can be friends in real life.

I'm not fond of the fact that Troy Barns has left Community.
To be more specific, I'm rather quite unhappy that Donald Glover has left the cast of community, not just for Glover's sake, but my own. Glover is an amazing comedian, and writer and in fact rapper, some one that gets me really excited about trying to do my own work. He is not a role model, or a idle, but rather a symbol, kinda like batman, of how much better I can be. Allowing me to be inspired to try my hardest to be successful.
But even then, that's not the reason I am unhappy with Troy's absence from my favorite show.  Rather, I see myself a lot like Abed. Much like a lot of other nerdy and weird people. He sits on the outside of the group observing the others with a fascination that inspires his work. Even when he is accepted into groups he still has a hard time figuring out why or how he belongs. I'm not saying that I am a semi robotic type of person who has a hard time figuring out peoples emotions, and socialization. quite the opposite actually, I have this innate ability to feel what others are feeling, to try and understand what they are going through. Because of this, I have alienated myself from the people I hold closest, and most dear. I Find myself quite annoying and over the top.
So I often move myself to the sidelines and feel reserved from others when I should partake in the moment. I can watch others when they are going through moments of both great joy and immense sadness.  Watching my family and my friends struggle, trying to understand my own struggles apart from them, these are the things that distance me from the rest of the world. It's lonely, not sad lonely or anything, just lonely.
So in Community we see a kid like this, on a much more comedic scale, and that he still has a great relationship with another guy.  It shows that there is, out in the world, people who are willing to, heck Excited to, accept people for their weird and odd tendencies and enjoy that life. True Friend, the truest of friends, this is what it is. Because we all sometimes feel excluded, and need that person to accept us for who we are and enjoy it along with us.
I'm unhappy that Troy left because he didn't just leave Abed, he left me. Not to sound super attachy and crazy. I know that its just a show, and its not real, but there is something about it that draws me in.  I will write no letter of protest, or death threats (and yes I know people that have.). There will be no crying or bitter feelings for an actor that played a part. But yes, I do feel that Troy left me as well. He was the idea that someone could be that best friend for me that I need sometimes.
This is why I want to pray for Donald Glover.
This is actually something that I have thought about for awhile. And I'm not talking about the, "Oh yeah I prayed for him while I was watching cartoons. He kinda ran through my head and I said amen." Nor is it the idea that I'm better than him and he needs Jesus to save his soul or his life if going to be a living hell.
It's something quite personal and weird  to me, the idea of praying for another person. Because its not just a hug. a comforting embrace with the body. Holding close a person of love, or want. A hug is only one aspect of Encouragement.  I can open my arms and hug just about anybody, all it takes is two arms and nerve stimuli connecting to the brain. This is a simple form of personal touch.
I'm a pretty terrible person, and I need a ton of comfort in my life. I stress out about a lot of things, and I need someone there contently to help relax me. In this i have found God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit. In Him i have found encouragement, though sometimes it may not seem like it. So i go to him a lot on my own behalf. That's what I Believe praying really is. Going before God and bringing him your concerns and worship. asking him to intercede in the lives of those who come to him boldly. So i spend most of my time talking to God about me. cause in my life I am the most important person there is.
Taking time away from myself and putting it on someone else is a very big decision, it's not something i do lightly. you open yourself up to so much pain and rejection. Cause not only do you not get the results immediately, but you don't even get to see them taking work most of the time. Just like a hug, you open yourself up to possible betrayal. But in a much more surreal and agonizingly spiritual way. So to me Praying for somebody is more personal and much more of a love thing than a hug. Its easy for enemies to hug, It's far harder to pray for your enemy, legitimately.
Not that Donald Glover is my enemy.
Finally I would wonder how many people would criticize prayer as an act of console. I give only what I have. I cannot offer that which is not mine, and all I have is counsel with the Lord God, whether he is in existence or not.  You would not punish the poor man offering the rich man his last bit of bread, or the child to the adult his lucky coin. It is an act of love, not criticism, it is sacrifice for the sake of Gladdening a heart.
So with that said. I wish to pray for Donald Glover in all his endeavors, hoping that he would find strength and comfort.

T.W. Clawson

ps. I will also probably pray that he rejoins the cast of community. but that's a selfish thing, so if it doesn't happen I will be OK with that.

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