Saturday, October 31, 2015

A voice in the Shadows




      
  
       There was absolutely nothing that was going to keep the two of us in that building! We were screaming with what little breath we had, a stream of cold air condensation trailing behind us. Our hearts beat in anticipation of the shadow behind us reaching forward to pull us back.

As we passed through the lobby of the massive derelict mental facility, a chandelier came crashing down in the dark shadows. Broken glass shattered about the three story entryway, striking out and cutting my leg. Pain shot through my body and shook my bones, though not enough to fight past the adrenaline that drenched my body and charged my legs forward.

The scene that continued to run through my mind was that of the blood pool coursing down the hallway. Then a voice struck out of the hallway a screamed like thunder The darkness spoke out, and we obeyed, bolting like rabbits.

We ran for the safety of the forest road. Our breath behind us as we burst out of the hospital As our endurance ended several hundred feet away from the hospital, we slowed our pace, thinking in retrospection.

            A sudden breath of relief; we looked back at the darkened silhouette of St. Stiles Mental Facility. We walked down the road, beginning to feel safe. Which soon turned into humor and we began nervously chuckling. The screaming voice had been terrifying, and jolted our fears into reality, but it was over and we were safe from the darkness.

“Where was Charlie this whole time?” I asked, finding it still hard to speak, shrouded in cold and terror.

“Probably too scared to show up,” my friend said, trying to laugh as well. Considering who Charlie was, a brave and confident young girl, it would be out of her character to shy away from an adventure like this.

“If she showed up, she probably went in early and got bored.” I said, giving her the benefit of the doubt.

A slight sound that stopped our hearts interrupted us, not much more than a misplaced crack of gravel.  The quiet fall night made the sound of footsteps our only entertainment.  Soon we picked up on it, a walking pattern that differed from our own. It was distant, coming from the building we had just left.

Listening for the sound behind us, soon we turned our heads back. Within the shadow of the building, at its base, walking up the path was a shadow’s movement.  Gravel crushing beneath its feet, it trotted with purpose and direction, right toward us. By the time we could see the outline of the shadow rushing us with deep glowing eyes, we were already moving. A new streak of terror pumped out in our stomachs as launched forward into the night.

The shadows seemed to cling to our clothes. We pushed as hard as we could, no longer screaming, but focused on escape. No longer did we feel safe, no longer would we take the chance to recover, we ran for our lives. Breaking out of the forest, we made it to the car, and without skipping a beat we continued to my house. To the safety of locked doors and bed sheets, we fell asleep with the terror in our minds.

Sleep overtaking us, and despite nightmares chasing us throughout the night, we awoke to a crisp and bright autumn morning. The sunrise brought a sense of silliness. It had all been too real, but in the morning we could see that it was an overreaction. There had been no ghost, no demon, and no evil, only foolish clumsiness and bad timing

I got the paper after it thudded on the door, opening it to a fright that ran my blood cold. The voice that told us to run, the scream that had jumped our nerves and sent us flying; wailing back to me, the blood that ran into the moonlit hallway; running through my mind. As I read on the front page of the paper the most horrifying story.

“Local girl, Charlie Mendez, found dead in abandoned mental hospital.”

Saturday, October 24, 2015

My Portfolio

I know it's really not like any person reading this blog will care,
But here is a portfolio I created for a job I was applying for. I kinda like how it turned out.












Saturday, October 17, 2015

I WROTE A FLIPPING BOOK!

I know that This blog has be come less me writing and more me posting pics and stuff. But the fact is that I spend most of my writing time writing my actual book. Maybe when I get more writing time for myself, I will actually be able to blog constantly. At this point, it's more when times get slow at work.
But here are a few pictures of the book I printed out. The First book in a trilogy, and I will begin querying again in the coming month. But this is a cool post because its an accomplishment. If I wanted to, I could self publish. I have full ability to do so, yet I feel called to traditional publishing. Mostly because I want to work on Christ's time, not my own. If God tells me to self publish, then I will. As it goes now,  I don't feel called to do so, I feel called to continue to write and continue to write I shall.
So here it is. The Split-World: The Inheritance.


Thursday, October 8, 2015

Desperation and Apples


 Today I tried to write something in my book.

I am sick, and groggy and everything I wrote I hate. I just pressed Ctrl + A then pulled the trigger on the life I had breath and committed writing homicide. I kinda feel terrible.
It's most likely cause of being sick. But beyond that I wonder sometimes if its all for not. This is going to be depressing, but that's the kinda mood I'm in right now. I just killed several thousand words of story and now I have to sit here and think about what a waste of day this is.

See, I can only deal with this life, these jobs the lack of security and subtle poverty because I have a goal. But days like this, where I'm reminded that I haven't accomplished anything yet, they are almost unbearable.

I'm not looking for sympathy or pity. I'm just venting.

Here's a comic book cover I did for a story a friend and I have been working on.


Thursday, March 19, 2015

Not like a tame Lion...

I Love C.S Lewis.

 
At least, I love his writing. I never met the guy, so its hard to say that I actually love him, or even like him. But I'm a huge fan of his work and ideas. Narnia being by far his more recognized work, I thought I would do something based of that. This is not a specific scene of any of the Chronicles of Narnia, but rather an image I see in my head.
Hope you like!

 

Monday, March 16, 2015

Art of the Rising of the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

I recently watched Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.


Until last December, I kind of refused to see it, cause to be honest... I was scared. I'm just uneasy with apes and monkeys and what not, but after listening to my little brother go on and on and on...

and on... about it, I decided to give it a try. So now I get it, its a great movie. here is some art I did inspired by the new movies. Hope you like.

Why... you?


I have recently been talking with a friend of mine about my future as a writer.  


 I was hit with a pretty bad blow to my ego a few weeks ago, and then as I lay on the floor recuperating in mental health and self esteem, I was (and still am) continually sucker punched by life.
To feel the pain of a gut wrenching attack from life is a lot like a really gut wrenching attack from a fist. The sudden impact of life forcing itself from the external, into the internal causes a shock that is universally recognized as unpleasant. Vibrations in the body cause the brain to shift, which it does not like to do, putting the body as risk of shutting down. This is blacking out, its the effect of causing the blood in the brain to, either, rush out or rush in very quickly.

But this blow is good for me, I just know it.
At least, I hope I know it.



I know that overall my life isn't that bad, but there are things that I grasp onto in order to tell myself how terrible life is. And I have to wonder sometimes, why do I hold on to these things? Is it pessimism? Is it a hope that if I can prove my life is worst than anyone else, that I might get a pass for doing nothing with it? I think We as a human species, see the opportunity to get a hall pass on life, and we strive for it.
If I can make everyone see that; I work endlessly, have no friends, my body is betraying me, God has no interest in me, and I'm a pretty useless person, then maybe, just maybe I could... Could... I... I... I dunno...


Now that I look at my life, and I see the patterns that arise from the ashes of turmoil, I see that I have put myself in this place. The dreaded an depressed. I have always fought to prove my self more righteous in the darkness. "My Parents are divorced! I Broke my arm (twice)! I have allergies, and Asthma, You don't know the meaning of suffering, only I do!" If I could yell that as loudly as possible, then maybe someone would take notice, take pity, and help me.

But here's the thing, I see now, that mentality, of always thinking I have it worst off, and competing with others to prove it, has actually made me the saddest person I know. I now look up from the Bottom of the barrel, after fighting so hard to be the one down here. I have pushed myself down, and in order to feel better about myself, I have kept myself from feeling better!

How messed up is that?

Now to get back to what I was saying a moment ago. I am the worst!

Honestly though, you have probably read through this once and seen a thousand grammatical errors, or spelling mistakes, while I read through this several times looking for that stuff and I still can't catch it all. When It comes to writing, I'm kinda the worst.

How ironic it is, that I want to be a novelist, a comic book writer, a TV show creator, comedian, actor, director, ect... ect... ect...  These things take skill in grammar, words and and understanding of the English language that I just don't have, in order to preform. I am at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to talent in writing, so why do I even try?

Two reasons. The first being that I love it. I always have. I love sitting down with a blank page on the monitor and filling it with words, hoping to read it back and hear something like a melodious tune. I love playing with words, trying the sounds, and hearing my lexicon expand with a new locution. Since I was a kid, I loved sitting down and spending some time with words. Not that we are great friends or anything, I just have an appreciation for them. It like when you go to a birthday party for a kid that your sibling is friends with. They are not your friend, they are friends with someone you are close to, so you see a lot of each other, but your happy the are there so you can go and get some cake...

The second reason for wanting to peruse being a writer and all that junk, is because I'm a good storyteller, and speaker. And this isn't like, "oh, I'm so good, I'm better than everyone." sort of things, I just know what I'm good at, and telling stories and getting people wrapped up in their own imagination is something I'm good at. And I love to do it.

I love to make people feel emotion, that's the goal of everything. I want people to feel what others have felt, and experience what others have experienced. Close their eyes and see what I can see. That, Imagination, is a gift from God. and I want to share that with everyone. Its what Worship pastors do, when they sing a song to bring people to tears, or a preacher does when they light a fire of the Holy Spirit in people. It's what councilors do, when they help sooth and heal, its what teachers do, when they help people realize an idea that might have been bizarre to them at first.

Ok. I'm almost done.



http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/fbb/c6d/eae/resized/impatient-god-meme-generator-right-then-get-on-with-it-a98226.jpg?1323713204.jpg
What I'm saying there, is that I have a Gift, imagination. and I want to share it with you all, and with the whole world. I'm going to do that by writing and telling, preaching and singing and acting and worshiping and praying and producing and any other way I possibly can. I'm going to over come this struggle of mine, and I will live a life that is not going to read "Worst life in the world is finally over!" but rather "Guy did something!"



We need to stop trying to pull ourselves down, so we can prove how terrible our life is. We need to, instead, rise ourselves up in our own eyes, so we can grab a hold of life and the people around us, and help everyone a little. Cause there is nothing better than helping everyone around you... except maybe Orange Chicken...

T.W. Clawson