Art of the Rising of the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

I recently watched Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.

Until last December, I kind of refused to see it, cause to be honest... I was scared. I'm just uneasy with apes and monkeys and what not, but after listening to my little brother go on and on and on...

and on... about it, I decided to give it a try. So now I get it, its a great movie. here is some art I did inspired by the new movies. Hope you like.

Why... you?

I have recently been talking with a friend of mine about my future as a writer.  

 I was hit with a pretty bad blow to my ego a few weeks ago, and then as I lay on the floor recuperating in mental health and self esteem, I was (and still am) continually sucker punched by life.

To feel the pain of a gut wrenching attack from life is a lot like a really gut wrenching attack from a fist. The sudden impact of life forcing itself from the external, into the internal causes a shock that is universally recognized as unpleasant. Vibrations in the body cause the brain to shift, which it does not like to do, putting the body as risk of shutting down. This is blacking out, its the effect of causing the blood in the brain to, either, rush out or rush in very quickly.

But this blow is good for me, I just know it.
At least, I hope I know it.



I know that overall my life isn't that bad, but there are things that I grasp onto in order to tell myself how terrible life is. And I have to wonder sometimes, why do I hold on to these things? Is it pessimism? Is it a hope that if I can prove my life is worst than anyone else, that I might get a pass for doing nothing with it? I think We as a human species, see the opportunity to get a hall pass on life, and we strive for it.
If I can make everyone see that; I work endlessly, have no friends, my body is betraying me, God has no interest in me, and I'm a pretty useless person, then maybe, just maybe I could... Could... I... I... I dunno...

Now that I look at my life, and I see the patterns that arise from the ashes of turmoil, I see that I have put myself in this place. The dreaded an depressed. I have always fought to prove my self more righteous in the darkness. "My Parents are divorced! I Broke my arm (twice)! I have allergies, and Asthma, You don't know the meaning of suffering, only I do!" If I could yell that as loudly as possible, then maybe someone would take notice, take pity, and help me.

But here's the thing, I see now, that mentality, of always thinking I have it worst off, and competing with others to prove it, has actually made me the saddest person I know. I now look up from the Bottom of the barrel, after fighting so hard to be the one down here. I have pushed myself down, and in order to feel better about myself, I have kept myself from feeling better!

How messed up is that?

Now to get back to what I was saying a moment ago. I am the worst!

Honestly though, you have probably read through this once and seen a thousand grammatical errors, or spelling mistakes, while I read through this several times looking for that stuff and I still can't catch it all. When It comes to writing, I'm kinda the worst.

How ironic it is, that I want to be a novelist, a comic book writer, a TV show creator, comedian, actor, director, ect... ect... ect...  These things take skill in grammar, words and and understanding of the English language that I just don't have, in order to preform. I am at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to talent in writing, so why do I even try?

Two reasons. The first being that I love it. I always have. I love sitting down with a blank page on the monitor and filling it with words, hoping to read it back and hear something like a melodious tune. I love playing with words, trying the sounds, and hearing my lexicon expand with a new locution. Since I was a kid, I loved sitting down and spending some time with words. Not that we are great friends or anything, I just have an appreciation for them. It like when you go to a birthday party for a kid that your sibling is friends with. They are not your friend, they are friends with someone you are close to, so you see a lot of each other, but your happy the are there so you can go and get some cake...

The second reason for wanting to peruse being a writer and all that junk, is because I'm a good storyteller, and speaker. And this isn't like, "oh, I'm so good, I'm better than everyone." sort of things, I just know what I'm good at, and telling stories and getting people wrapped up in their own imagination is something I'm good at. And I love to do it.

I love to make people feel emotion, that's the goal of everything. I want people to feel what others have felt, and experience what others have experienced. Close their eyes and see what I can see. That, Imagination, is a gift from God. and I want to share that with everyone. Its what Worship pastors do, when they sing a song to bring people to tears, or a preacher does when they light a fire of the Holy Spirit in people. It's what councilors do, when they help sooth and heal, its what teachers do, when they help people realize an idea that might have been bizarre to them at first.

Ok. I'm almost done.




What I'm saying there, is that I have a Gift, imagination. and I want to share it with you all, and with the whole world. I'm going to do that by writing and telling, preaching and singing and acting and worshiping and praying and producing and any other way I possibly can. I'm going to over come this struggle of mine, and I will live a life that is not going to read "Worst life in the world is finally over!" but rather "Guy did something!"



We need to stop trying to pull ourselves down, so we can prove how terrible our life is. We need to, instead, rise ourselves up in our own eyes, so we can grab a hold of life and the people around us, and help everyone a little. Cause there is nothing better than helping everyone around you... except maybe Orange Chicken...

T.W. Clawson

 

Finished... kinda

So I "finished" my first book.
I use quotation marks, because I'm no where near done. I still have a long road ahead of me, but it's an exciting one. One that I seem to be able to see the end off, but need to actually walk down. It's an odd feeling, seeing yourself in a place that your body does not yet occupy.
I am constantly talking to the people around me, people I would call friends but they may have a different term for me, about the future and my dreams. I see myself being a novelist, a producer, director, entrepreneur, an artist and comedian and even an actor. I see myself speaking to thousands of people all over the world and making a difference in the lives of "fans" everywhere.
But how do I get there, how do I make myself someone that people want to know, and talk to and listen to. It's a really kindling kind of thought process. Being conscious of the decision to become more. To be worth more.

That is that I don't believe I am worth anybody's time right now. I am constantly indebted to to those to who seem to want to take time out of their life to spend with me. Its like being a homeless person and receiving money for sitting on the sidewalk. I do nothing for these people, and out of the compassion of their hearts they throw money in my hat.
So what is it that I must do to feel a sense of worth? Write a book? Get it published? Have a random person interview me? Have a movie made from a story? Go on Conan? Host SNL? Become the president of DC (and fix the whole dern company!)?
These are goals, these are achievements, but do they really add to my self worth? Lets say that I do achieve one of my goals, and I make it to comic con on a panel, that people come to see and ask me questions about my work... lets say I achieve some minor success of fame... what does that add?
Does that make me a nicer guy? does it further The Kingdom of Christ? Will it make my woman love me more?

HECK FREAKIN YEAH IT DOES! I mean... Kinda...


This is my point. I believe I will never truly be worth anyone's time, quiet the opposite. That I will be blessed by every single person I ever meet and talk with. Think about it, would you rather think yourself better than the world, knowing that they always owe you for being around them and never getting what your owed, inevitably being let down? Or would you want to feel as though you are given a gift with every conversation you had, and filled just to be in the presence of people who like you?

I choose the Ladder! (latter)



But while I don't feel that I am really worth it, I have a hope that I can help people. So I choose to work at writing and start making myself a better person. Someone that won't leave with a bad taste in their mouth after talking to me. I want people to see the light that I have, and to be willing to follow me down this road I travel on.
I'm going to finish this book. I am done with the a ton of editing. I have given the current book out to several people to read and tell me what they think. While I read through it again, I await their critiques, hoping that it will all be good in the end.
I have compiled a list of Agents and Publishers, looking for those that might be interested in my work and am sending it out to them for representation. 
I don't know how long I will be querying, but I know that I have to go through this to get down the road. Soon I will be signing my books and answering questions from nervous kids who just want a chance to talk to me. I hope to look at them with a smile and tell them.
Thanks, your the reason why I write.
T.W. Clawson

Click Bait, Hoo ha ha!

 Why would you actually click on this? Why? Its just an attempt to get more views.
But while your here... Check out some of my other posts...











Seriously though, I find it ridiculous how much people are willing to give into the Click bait and look at these "amazing" stories. We need to strive for sustenance.For truth and for things that make us better people. Not better entertained people. I really do hope you enjoy my other posts. I hope too, to do more soon.

In response to a friend

Recently I was asked to help a younger friend in his debate with another friend of ours. Since I haven't put anything up in a while, I figured this would be something cool to throw up here. It also makes me feel like I'm answering fan mail or something. maybe one day i could do this on a regular basis. for now, I will simply post it from Facebook... Hope you guys like it. 

Hey Tyler, this is actually quite the random question but I've been struggling to find an answer, warning; it's comic related. So whenever I bring up Marvel comics, (Name Redacted) always claims that they are childish. His reasons are that it always has a happy ending and has poor character development also that no one ever dies because it's too happy. I try to come up with something to respond with but it usually gets shot down, and I know you lean towards marvel so I'm kinda hoping you can help me out. And like before, if your schedule is still busy you don't have to take time from your schedule for this because these are non serious requests I bring to you. But if you do so happen to get a chance, I would appreciate it very much! Thanks!

First of all, (Name redacted)  is very stubborn, you have to approach  an argument with him slowly, with logic and reason.  

To say that a comic company is more childish another is a ridiculous statement. These are comic books we're talking about, comics and cartoons, action figures and video games. While our culture is trying its hardest to make these nerdy things for grownups, they still find their origin in the imagination of young people everywhere. These characters were meant to be a role model for young boys and girls, they are meant to call to action the decisions of growing adults, and help people see a world that is beyond their fingertips. 

So to say that Marvel is more childish should be a complement. It means that Marvel is reaching out to the people they intend to. But let's look at that as well, Comics, cartoons, figures and videos games. If these are the things that are childish, and Marvel is childish, then marvel is excelling in comparison to DC. They have made better cartoons since the 90's.  The Videos games they put out have always been produced in better quality and have better reception than majority of DC's. Does this mean DC doesn't have a good effort every once in a while? Not at all. The Batman Arkham series has been one of my favorites, ever. My oldest and fondest memory of action figures was my batman beyond figure. The Animated Batman cartoon, and Batman Beyond were right there with Spider-man and X-men for Saturday cartoon agenda. Heck, my very first comic book was a batman book... DC has one anomaly that keeps them in competition with Marvel. Batman. And if you want to try and say that anything from Marvel is less childish than Batman, then you will have a hard time proving yourself. 

 

 But consider characters like Daredevil, or Moon Knight. Characters that spend their nights fighting injustice. Beating the (snot) out of bad guys and coming close to blurring the lines of punishment and murder... The PUNISHER!? The man who literally kills people for being bad... does that sound childish to you? What about Spiderman? He’s pretty cartoony right? Kids everywhere have him on underpants and shirts or sheets. But he has a massively traumatic story-line and fights characters that are not even close to childish. Does the story end happily for spidy when Gwen Stacy dies? Or Daredevil when Karen Page dies?  Does it end well when Thor is kicked out of Asgard? (kinda, but the point is he had to struggle to get back, it didn't just happen.) What about Tony Stark's Alcoholism? The Sentry who is the greatest super hero and the greatest villain at the same time?  Or what about the very recent murder of The Watcher?  

And if we are gonna talk about people dieing? Where does DC stand? Sure they have killed off; Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, The Flash, etc. (honestly I know there is more but I can't think of them off the top of my head.) Heck they have killed of their own Multiverse once or twice... and yet... they all (Every single one of them) come back. There is not a character or hero that they haven't killed, that hasn't been brought back to life for the sake of story. And even in the time that they let those characters lie in the ground, they make other characters fill those titles.  Example= Dick Grayson as Batman.  So if we are going to judge the comic as childish based on that, then DC is just as (if not more) childish. 

Here's my thing, I'm not looking to put DC down at all, in any way. I want to read more of them. I have only been able to afford an occasional Batman story. But if I ever get “well off” enough, then I will invest in DC. But at this point I read marvel because I enjoy their stories more. Plus they make it a little easier to jump into places. If being less childish mean you have to be more convoluted and ridiculous, then I really don’t care to read grown up stuff.  As well, I love the Marvel characters. One of the reasons I love those characters is because of how mature their stories end up being. There certainly are cases where Marvel is more childish or cartoony, or lighthearted than DC. Take the Marvel Cinematic universe. While they hit on mature situations and themes, the movies themselves are very fun and light. They have a ton of jokes and keep you entertained. While DC has made it a rule with their movies to no longer allow jokes on screen. So of course DC is going to seem more mature and grown up in comparison, but I don't think a lack of jokes makes you more grown up, Just stiffer, and to serious. The question I have for DC is, Why so serious?

I hope this helps you, and I hope that you guys keep debating. It’s the only way to really figure out what you believe, and what you like. Just remember, your friends are more important that the fake people drawn on a piece of paper.  Try to keep it fun, and try to realize that the person yelling loudest isn't always right... just more passionate.

T.W. Clawson

Thank you to all my fans!

I just finished writing my book.
Like, legit, I am writing it no more. I still have a tone of editing to do, but the entire book, the whole story has been written and i Couldn't be happier. Seriously, I am so stinkin excited.
I am so excited that I thought I would share with you, my design for the book cover. Its only an idea and I have almost no hope of actually getting this done for the cover because authors get almost no say in what it looks like. But doing these things help me focus on the story a little more. Plus its a lot of fun to do.
So here it is. The cover of "The Split-World: the Inheritance". Book one of three in the trilogy. fort trilogy of three. and only half of the career i want to have as a novelist.  I really hope you like this. and hope you have a great day.

T.W. Clawson

Because a dream is a dream, until you make it happen

THESE ARE ALL PHOTOSHOPPED!
If you actually clicked the link and find yourself looking at these pics, understand that no one in the world has actually gotten my art tattooed to themselves.
I did this because sometimes, I like to use my Photoshop skills to help me see an end result. Like working on a book cover, then making putting it on a mock up and seeing what my book will someday look like. heck maybe I'll put some of those up some time.
But for now, take a look at what it would be like if we lived in a universe where people liked my work so much that they had it permanently stained onto their skin...