The Power is yours!

I recreated the Captain planet logo... because I loved that show so frakin much. 

I made it look a little worn and faded, because it's suppose to be on a t-shirt. Below is the way it would look for the most part.

And I guess this would be a good segway into saying that if you ever want a shirt of the designs I do, feel free to contact me and I can make that happen. Not that I'm expecting a flood of orders. Just putting it out there. 

Hope you guys like it. 

T.W. Clawson

A Kiss from the sunset

Taken from the Movie Princess Mononoke, when the Forest Spirit comes out to meet the sunset, and begins to turn to the night walker. It's an odd and some what iffy movie to watch, but it is wonderful to say the least. By far my favorite anime movie. Hope you guys like the design. 

Dawn of Revenge of the living Nerds!

I recently started to asked a Retro Game store if they would wanna by some of my shirts. This was my favorite design that I showed them. So I thought I would share it with you.
Aren't you just super lucky.

T.W. Clawson

Fill the void and look good doing it

So I realized that I have been ranting like crazy and that's not the whole point of this blog. I wanna show off every aspect of me, I want the world to see it as a way to get to know me some more. As well, I only write a big thing one a month, leaving thirty days of emptiness. This can cause people to stop caring about whats going on, and I wanna put a stop to that.
so I'm gonna try and put up some art work that I have done once a week. I have recently begun working at a t-shirt company as a graphic designer and that gives me a lot of time to chill and create, as well as internet access, so I will start to day with something I worked on.

This is one of my favorite pictures that I have ever done, because it doesn't mean a damn thing. Seriously, all I did was see the picture online and work it into a cool design. Thing is I have people asking me questions about it all the time. And usually its the question they ask that tell's me how they feel about Darwin and The Theory of Evolution.

T.W. Clawson

Where you there when I set the Foundations of the Earth?

I don't like to think of God as a Genie in a bottle, but sometime I am inclined to, and I feel a sense of obligation to put him back in said bottle. 

See, there is a certain feeling that I encounter and I have a hard time shaking. I feel it's quite outwardly when I'm in the darkest of times. With the world crumbling around me, I feel the weight of this enormous mystical being pressing down one me. He continues to press and press until I start screaming and yelling and throwing my fists. Its a fight or flight mechanism in our brains that causes us to do this. We want to persevere through the wicked and the pain so as to help others when we come out of it, hoping to have a better story to tell. But that's just not how life is, we are not pressed and pressed only to see ourselves overcome. Rather the longer we take to get to the point of giving up, the more this monolith of eternity will crush us under His hand.

We are forced into a position of crying and begging and confusion and pain, laying on the ground giving up on everything. Brought to our lowest point, we think back on the world and wonder what it is that we can do to make things right, wondering what it was that we did to piss of this great super being of awesomeness. All the while he presses down on our soul with his thumb and pushes us closer to hell, and all for what? To make us stronger, to test us, to help us?  

We question God, I question God, and yet we are told to have faith in him who we question. Now don't get me wrong, I don't question God's existence, not for a second. Rather I question what I am suppose to be in his eyes, so in a way I guess I question myself. I lose faith in the glorious and liberating knowledge that is being a "Christian".  

Someone once asked me, while I was in a very dark and painful part of my life, "Do you really think that God is taking these thing away from you? You really think that he would that 'to' you. He would punish you for something like that?" I think on that a lot, because the fact is I absolutely do. I absolutely believe that God takes from us, and at his own will, when he pleases. It only makes sense to me. Look at the book of Job, Through Satan, God took from him. Look at David, because of his sin, God took his child, heck he took almost all his children. Look at Jonah, he took three days of his life. Look at Neberkenezer, one of the worst People in all of history, and he took his sanity, his royalty and shelter, and basically turned him in to a wolfman... look it up Daniel 4. 

Besides, its only logical to give Him the glory of our lacking and pains, since we have to give him our glories in everything good. If you have ever seen me give a speech or comedy or writing or anything where people give me applause for something I did, I always, ALWAYS, give back to God. "He's the one that gave me the words. He really was the one talking there. No, I'm terrible at bass, but God gave me the power this time." So if I give him the blame for all the good stuff, then should he not get the blame for that bad as well? Do you believe that God would be so egotistical that he would only allow us to recognize him for the best parts of our lives, and allow Satan to to take the fall for all our misadventures. 

As well, I look at God with a bitter sweetness when I ask for something from him. I Love the X-files, awesome show, and in it there is an episode with a Genie. She is a cold and emotionless woman who gives people exactly what they want. The first man we see asked for invisibility, when he walks around invisible he gets hit by a car and dies. When Mulder asked for world peace, the entire population of earth disappears except for him. In bedazzled, with Brendan Fraser (cause i haven't seen the original.) Satan gives him wishes and they are fulfilled, only to be ruined by some unseen event.     

Now that I sit in a position of some what comfortably, I am scared to death of what God is "going to do to me".  People have told me, be careful when you ask God for humility or Patience, because he will give them to you, and you will have to use them. What kind of God are we worshiping if we are terrified to ask him for things? Especially when he did so much to open the line of communication. He has given us permission to ask him for anything, and he sent his own son to die in order to keep us close. I'm terrified to grow and become better because I don't want to go back to the life I was living, to poverty and suicidal thoughts. To humility and embarrassment, to having people look down on me and question whether is good to have me in their life or not.  

David continued to sin against God all his life, even when his first born of Bathsheba had died, he didn't learn his lesson. Jonah was forced to go to Niniva and then scolded for his personality. Though Job's life was restored to him and he was given back everything in ten fold, and Neberkanezzer was given back his sanity and ruled over Babylon as a God Fearing King, totally cleaned up his act. 

So what do I get when I ask God to make me better? I get a rock hard ass cause I keep cringing and waiting. Then I'm given a moment to relax, but soon find that I am worried about what's going to come next. Hoping that I am one of the few that figures out how to give up all my lunch money before getting punched in the face. Or that I'm getting punched in the face enough will allow me to stop caring and become a stronger person.  Either way I'm told That I don't fully understand what's happening and that I should just let God do what he does, and hope that his will is done. 

But if there is one thing I have learned from my Israel like relationship with the Lord, it's that God always gets what he wants. Always. 

T.W. Clawson

While maintiing a level headedness.

I  want to be well known.

Not so I can feed in to my own vanity. I understand that,  that might seem like a bit of a cliche but its not. There are two distinct reasons for my unnecessary desire to be known by strangers. The first being that I want to influence people in a good way and be a good role model to those who need one, as well and possibly in that same vain, I want to show society that a person can enjoy the world and still be a Christian.

Some would say that my goals and my aspirations would be that of self seeking pride, or of glory. That in order to seek fame and fortune one must by nature be a nihilist and selfish. To be able to make ones self known, you must first rid your self of morals and conservatives that  make the modern man a true and honest person Just look at the realm in which our highest and most celebrated people act, they have taken the restraints of society and loosened them to further their own popularity. How could any simple man want to be know by strangers and still possible hold fast to the ideals of simplicity and good nature.

To me the answer is quite simple actually. The very idea that one holds fast to their ideals and morals makes them a prime candidate to be placed in a position of fame. Its the way I think that our political system should work, though it doesn't and that's a completely different blog. But the point being that I, myself, should be able to look for fame in showing the world my values. I should bet on my beliefs and my view points to help me succeed in the world. I don't believe that people should use them to hold me back, and strip me of my dreams.

To say, I hope that what I do with my writing and art and comedy and endeavors of any kind would be to help kids who are like how I was and help them grow in a way that is undamaging. I want to feed into the idea that we are all worth life, and that there is some how a glimmer of light in any dark that we might be facing. Though to be honest this is a message that a lot of artists and musicians have. From emo punk kids to directors and writers, they all have a shtick of helping people work through something hard. While I applaud the heart of their message, I find it lacking.

The only true  light that I have ever found in my life is that of Jesus Christ. DON'T WORRY, this is not a sermon. I'm not going to go off on the nature and truth that is the living God taking on flesh and dieing for all of mankind's sins. I'm simply stating what I have found to be the light that others have, in my life, said that I should hold onto. While they tell me that, I'm not sure what it is that they have taken a hold of to be able to relay that message.

So now I say I want to be well known so that some random kid out there can see my work and find in him/herself  a desire to do something for some reason. I think back to meeting a few of my personal "Heroes". Some of them I think on fondly, allowing me to wish even more to be like that person. As for others I think of how star struck I was, and how awkward I end up being. To those That I have done that to, I'm immensely sorry and I hope that one day I get a chance to ask your forgiveness. But I look at these people and something inside me stirs, something finds joy in their accomplishments. It's like jealously, its like envy , but it's also like mentor-ship, like trail blazing. Its Inspiration.

This is the exact feeling that I want others to feel when I do something. I want what I write, say, do and think to inspire young people to take action and take control of their lives. That is not a bad thing, to any person out in the world, the idea of inspiration is not bad. so why is it wrong for me to dream that one day I become known enough to influence people from distance. It is the whole idea of Christianity to help those we don't know, and I honestly hope that one day I can do that.

Finally and like I said earlier, probably along the same vain as wanting to influence people, I want to show the world that the Bible is a great place to find inspiration for art. Walking a christian life is a line that requires a lot of balance. Often, Christians find themselves living it two separate worlds, their Sunday "Christ like" world and their "normal" world. I find this ridiculous. I will not jump from side to side of a single broadening line. Instead I will let my art and my skills and abilities speak to the Christ like person I try to be. There is a movement in the world, that a work of art is an extension of a person's thoughts and beliefs. While I admit that its not a new movement, and that people have been a part of it for hundreds of years, It's still something that I must make myself apart of. Its something that I hope I can help young Christians see, and help them live it.

In everything I do, I wish to show that God is not out dated, nor is he non existent and that he is always working, always trying to produce in us a better person. Again, this is not a sermon., so I will simply end with this. I don't want to convert the people of the world, no do I want to shove my beliefs down their throat, but I have been inspired to show the world my light, my joy. So I want to be well known, so that all that I stand for, all that I do believe is, along with me, well known. In the end, I pray that Truth will reveal itself, and in everything that I will give someone out there hope. 

T.W. Clawson

Who are we to drink from the cup?

I can see exactly why I have no money.

We have a certain notion that our money is ours, that it belongs to us. Yet we beg for it and plead for it from anybody we can. Asking the nation to give us a sense of worth, and a place to show off our inherent wealth. To a common kind growing up in the world, we are told that we are special and worth being around. when we grow up we see on T.V. or in the movies that the people that are really special are the people that have money and can do things that others can't. 

When we come out of high school we are told that if you don;t go to university or even some kind of collage than you are a waste of time, basically useless. I was told coming out of high school that it was basically necessary to get my associates degree in order to make myself worth something. but as i got my associates in a field that I find completely useless, I was told that getting an associates was like getting a high school diploma, and in order to set myself apart i had to at least get my bachelors.

Now, I'm not angry that I in a sense had the carrot hung in front of me, and then pulled further away. That is something that happens in society today. You look at Debt or career paths or Holidays or even the idea of family and you will always have that carrot stung out further. No, What I'm irritated about is the idea that It wasn't until after  had my associates that I even started to see what I wanted to do with my life. I love make videos and acting, but from what I learn both looking at the world and trying to get into the world myself, is that these are not careers but hobbies. At least, for me, its that way for a very long time.

My advice to anybody looking going into film for a career is this; do not do it right away. Go to school from something simple, something that will allow you to live, allow you to get married and eat. I'm not saying that you should do this, but I feel like I could have gone to school for accounting and been able to make a much better living, while exploring the talents that God gave me. 

I do urge you to consider the implications of going straight for your "dreams" to early in your life, people who might be possibly reading this and who are under 25 and who might actually have aspirations in life.  You will be living in a world of doubt and confusion, while trying maintain order and independence for yourself. Its an odd combination of fun and torture and I really wouldn't recommend it to anybody. Though, some will thrive on the life of an artist. I certainly don't look down on those that feel this is the correct path for them, I seemly heed a warning of person experience. 

This culture has taught us that we have been born into royalty, and that we deserve everything good given to us. That we have the right to be famous, that we were made to be rich, but the fact is this is not so. We have to achieve these thing, we must work at it, we must strive for it. The idea of the american dream has changed in the last hundred years, quite extremely. 

When our grandfathers and great grandfathers came to this country they came with the sense that their lives would be better. Not because the government would give them an easy way out, but because they would be given the opportunity to make something of themselves.

So now it's our turn, to take life by the horns and look it straight in the eye. Ready to work our asses off and find out who we are in the process. Then and only then will we be able to show the world who we are and what we are made of.  It's only when you let the world mold you and shape you, that you finally have something to reveal. It's only when you shed the skin of your prepubescent thoughts, allowing you to see how the faults of the past are corrected, that you can start to move in the right direction to change them for good. 

Don't let your youth scare you from being apart of the world, but rather let it springboard you into the seasons of life, and help you become who you were meant to become. 

Purposeful.

T.W. Clawson